Getting Going Again

School has always been a struggle for me, and the aftermath even worse. I left undergrad feeling pretty broken, and so I knew graduate school would knock me off my center a bit too. I was more prepared this time for the sudden loss of community, of friends, of studio space, of ideas. It was still painful, but I was better able to handle it. It’s the kind of thing I find healing in not looking directly at, letting it take it’s own path without a lot of interference from me.

I was ready to be done, when the time came. I felt my MA show was stronger than my MFA show. I wasn’t totally ready with something solidly done by the time my MFA show rolled around. I had a lot of tendrils, disparate parts in my studio, which one of my faculty advisors advised me to place all of in my show. In retrospect, I wish I had taken her advice. 

The show I’m currently preparing now involves revisiting some of that MFA work two years later, and moving into some new pastures based loosely on where that compass is pointing me. I haven’t discovered yet the story they are trying to tell, and so I am currently building on instinct alone. This tends to be the way of my process. I don’t think this is a bad way to work, it’s just different than when I sit down to put a video together and the scripted story acts as the guide and framework to hang things on. Also I love the feeling when the story finally emerges and is revealed to me. It’s a thrill.

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